


next to me

by artsyleo



Series: comfortember 2020 [2]
Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Comfort, Deaf Character, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Sleepy Cuddles, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Tumblr Prompt, like barely there but it's there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:39:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27354349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artsyleo/pseuds/artsyleo
Summary: comfortember prompt day 2 - first day/nightor ben and callum's first night living together after lockdown (if ben hadn't been arrested literally 30 seconds after callum agreed to move in)
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Series: comfortember 2020 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1995826
Comments: 6
Kudos: 80





	next to me

**Author's Note:**

> tiny tw for mentions of struggling in lockdown but like not really angsty

It’s weird at first, but familiar. 

It’s been months since they could be together properly, instead of trapped in houses across from each other, just over the road yet so out of reach, when they both needed comfort from the other. Lockdown had been unbearable for so many reasons, but mainly because Ben and Callum knew they couldn’t be together. They facetimed every day, of course, but both of them had always been tactile, preferring to reassure each other with gentle touches, with holding the other close or soft fingers sweeping over skin or hair. 

So the idea that finally they can, finally they are allowed to curl into each other, skin to skin- it’s  _ so much _ . It’s everything Callum’s been waiting for, especially after the last few months. He hadn’t admitted it to anyone, terrified of judgement, but he’d taken things hard, over lockdown. He’d still been working, which had been something of a distraction, but the overwhelming stress of what felt like the whole world changing was something that was hard to shake, especially when you had to do it alone. So finally being allowed to touch, to hold, it’s no wonder the only thing he wants to do is get into bed. It’s maybe about eight, given the darkness of the sky outside, and Ben’s only just put Lexi to bed ( _ fuck _ , Callum had underestimated quite how much he’d missed her) but the only thng Callum wants to do is pull Ben back up the stairs and to their room, once he’s done. 

It’s not even like he wants sex, either- they’ll have time for that tomorrow, or later, even. He wants intimacy, but not in the same way- he wants holding, closeness, legs tangled together. It’s because the feeling of being touch-starved right now feels too much like what he’s dealt with most of his life - denying himself the comfort, the love, that he thought he shouldn't want - and the last thing he wants to do is slip back there. Evidently, Ben sees it in his eyes - the pleading for what he knows he needs but is too afraid to ask for - and he doesn’t even have to say anything. The other man takes his hand, gentle, and leads him upstairs. They get ready for bed side by side, and even that feels like a novelty right now, when it’s something he feels like he’s not had in years. Callum’s skin tingles where their arms touch when they brush their teeth next to each other, and it’s so reminiscent of when they were first going out, and every touch felt like fireworks. He smiles at the distant familiarity of it, and just shakes his head when Ben asks him what he’s smiling at, for fear of being cheesy. 

Ben switches off the lights and checks the front door is locked while Callum puts his clothes away in Ben’s -  _ their -  _ drawers and pulls the curtains across, cracking the window just slightly like he remembers Ben likes. He pulls the covers back and climbs in, inhaling the scent of Ben on the pillows as soon as his head’s down, bringing the cover up to his chin so that he’s wrapped up in it. 

When Ben gets back into the room, there’s a huge grin on his face as he catches Callum. 

“Cutie,” he says quietly, and it sends a blush up Callum’s cheeks, across to the tips of his ears. He watches as Ben strips off his clothes, leaving just his boxers, and allows himself to marvel at the beauty of the man in front of him. Ben probably catches him staring, but he doesn’t have it in him to care. 

Ben crawls in eventually, shifting so the two of them are almost nose to nose. Callum notices Ben still has the processor connected to his implant, so he reaches up to tap a hand just under Ben’s ear, a gentle reminder.

“I’ll take it out in a minute,” he says, voice soft. “Want to hear your voice first.” 

Callum smiles, and obliges. “Missed you. Missed this.” 

Ben smiles and closes his eyes, like he’s savouring every word, and Callum secretly thinks it’s the sweetest look on Ben. 

“Yeah,” he says, emotion clear in his voice. “Yeah, me too.” 

The little bit of light that’s still coming in through the window catches on a tear tracing down Ben’s cheek, and panic races through Callum. 

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” he says, and lifts a hand to wipe away the tear gently. 

“Nothing, I promise,” Ben says. Callum’s not convinced, until a little smile comes onto Ben’s face, and he knows it’s genuine. “Just- I’m so glad you said yes. So glad you’re here.”

Callum smiles in response, warmth replacing the nerves in his chest, and sweeps his hand back to run through Ben’s hair. It’s gotten longer over lockdown, and he secretly loves it, the feeling of Ben’s soft hair against his fingers. Ben’s eyes flutter closed at the feeling, and he smiles even wider. 

“Missed you doing that,” he says quietly, and allum just hums. Ben shifts impossibly closer into him, tangling their legs together below the sheets, warm skin against warm skin. His head moves to where Callum remembers he likes best to put it- against his chest, right over where his heart beats. He’d started doing it since the kidnapping, since he’d lost his hearing, and they’d never talked about it but Callum thought it was probably Ben’s way of reassuring himself that he was still there, even if he couldn’t hear him. He settles there, and Callum settles too, comforted by the familiar pressure, grounding. 

“You want me to take your implant out?” Callum says, and he’s not all that convinced Ben can still hear him - or is still listening - so he shifts the hand that’s in the other man’s hair to tap under his ear again, until Ben nods just a little. Callum’s careful, convinced that he could hurt Ben, even though he’s reassured him before that he won’t. Ben doesn’t even flinch, though, just waits until Callum settles back down to start tracing words over the other side of his chest. A simple phrase, so much behind it-

_ I love you.  _

Callum shifts to write the same thing against Ben’s arm, but if the changing sounds of his breathing is anything to go by, the other man is asleep before he’s even finished. It’s okay though, Callum figures, because he’s got forever to tell him that. 

**Author's Note:**

> oh how i wish we could have the two of them cuddling again :')  
> anyways!! hope you enjoyed this, im not entirely sure how coherent it is but i had this idea yesterday, so i just sat down today and went for it. as always comments + kudos mean the world to me!! hope you enjoyed and stay safe   
> leo x (tumblr - artsy-highway)


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